Just days before the election, Lincoln, the Chicago mayoral front runner and only canine in the race suddenly withdrew his candidacy. "I just don't have the balls for politics anymore," yelped Lincoln at his Trego, Wisconsin vacation home.
On Tuesday, Lincoln who lead all mayoral voter polls and has raised millions of dollars was neutered by Dr. Amanda Evans at Blum Hospital in Chicago. "The surgery was very successful and Lincoln was a total trooper, but he's not the man he used to be." quoted Dr. Evans.
Lincoln decided Saturday after many days of soul searching that he just doesn't have the balls to be mayor of Chicago. "It will take a candidate with big, big, big kahunas to get this great city back on track. I'm afraid I just don't qualify for the job anymore." Now barking in a high pitched tone, Lincoln roared, "I urge all my supporters to vote for the only candidate who qualifies for the job, Rahm Emanuel."
